I've been watching bleach for like 3 years now, and IMHO, it's turning from bad to worse, to OMGWTF! So, I decided to dedicate this post to vent out all my bleach rantings! Forgive me Kubo Tite (there is an E at the end of Tite, remember!), but it is a must now and we'll learn Bleach-taught lessons! Here goes... (CERO)!
Bleach? "WTF?" Is that what you say? Nope, Bleach is not WTF, nor is it a detergent or whitening agent or anything. Bleach is an anime. About Ichigo, Rukia, some other folks, things called "hollows" and other things called "shinigami". It's like an old Samurai thingy movie placed in our time. And so it began..
But OMG! In the first episode itself, Rukia sustains a hyper-major-mega cut from shoulder to somewhere near her "thing". Wonder how anybody could lose that amount of blood, and still be alive! :S That's an issue in Bleach. Whenever there is a battle, the scene turns to "The Hostel" with added gore. Blood spurts like ketchup in that. And guess what?? NOBODY, I stress, NO frickin person/animal/thing/hollow/stuffed animal dies in Bleach. NOT one! Even when hollows are defeated (hollows = bad), they go to Soul Society as purified souls. Soul Society is some kind of heaven of some sorts. No one dies. So, lesson #1: No matter the amount of blood you lose, you don't die.
After a while, we see another fateful battle. Ishida pairs with Ichigo to kill an army of hollows. Cool cool. The thing is, they get time to debate, kick each other's butts, and the hollows (hollows = bad guys, remember?) WAIT FOR THEM! Wow! If I were the damn hollows, I'd cero their arses to hell! Now comes lesson #2: Your enemies wait for you to kick your partner's arse before attacking. They even allow talking time!
Bla bla bla... After some time, Rukia is taken back to
A small review of the captains: Byakuya the quiet guy that secretly lusts after his wife's look-alike and sister, Rukia. Zaraki the Ecchi who tags Yacchiru (a kid) around on his shoulders. Genryuusai that farts fire. Kurotsuchi the Caterpillar that carries a knife in his ear. Kyoraku the perv that drinks and loves Nanao's butt. Hitsugaya the Brat that always gets owned and doesn't even have a fully working Bankai. Ukitake that needs a permanent hospital bed. Soi Fon that has a Yuri fetish for Yuroichi. Komamura the Furry that got owned 1-hit. And other captains which are not worth remembering. Then we got Aizen the Power-monger that has something for Gin and Tousen, and secretly loves Hollows. Quite a team! Really... It's scary. How can they all roam around with katanas?? :S
And then we proceed. I'm sure you know that Rukia got saved, right? And that Ichigo rained blood all over
There is also a theory about Soul Society being a place of debauchery, which really should be called Hentai Society, but that will be for another time...
After Soul Society, Ichigo confronts Arrankars. Simply put, revamped and stronger hollows. With larger holes and more prominent holes BTW. What?? You thought Hollows wouldn't have holes?? Then check below and tell me what you see on his neck! After a while, Ichigo got beaten to a pulp, and realized how weak he can be without a hole. So? He wants one!! So he goes and trains with the Vizards. Don't ask why W lost one of the V's in it. But instead of Wizards, they are Vizards, perhaps as a tribute to Viz. He gets trained, beaten to a pulp by Hyori and others, and finally comes out with his hole and mask that lasts 11 seconds. All that beating and training, just for 11 seconds... Duh.. That guy's got no talent!
At one time or another, they all got/will get beaten. Rukia got skewered on a spear. 20 chapters after, no word about her. Rumor says she's still skewered and dripping blood, but as Bleach goes. She'll be alive. You can be sure. Chad got his arm cut. Still alive. Renji and Ishida got their organs crushed/ripped/cut. Still alive. Ichigo got owned by Grimmjow. Still alive. WHY ARE THEY ALL ALIVE?? lesson #5: Whatever the damage you take, you live.
Now, you need to understand one thing. Ichigo beat Zaraki without Bankai and Hollow. He beat Byakuya without Hollow (almost). But these 2 captains are supposed to be the strongest. But? Ichigo got OWNED by Espada #6: Grimmjow, even with Bankai and Hollow! Wow! If Espada 6 can own the guy who owned 2 captains, imagine what Espada #1 would do to the other captains! See my point? The power balance in Bleach is sooo disturbed and imbalanced! Totally imba!! But you know what? lesson #6: However strong your enemy is, if you are the main character, you win in the end!
Oh yes a side-point which leads to to lesson #7: Huge racks do not prevent you from fighting. Personally, I don't understand how Matsumoto, Orihime, Yuroichi, Neriel, Halibel and several others can actually move without breaking their spines. Now fighting? Maybe they use special attacks? Like crushing the face of your opponent between boobs? Or coup-de-Boob?
This is my "critical analysis" of Bleach from where the manga has reached. And as a farewell, lesson #8: Bleach is injurious to health. Causes brain damage if you try to figure it out.
5 comments:
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
and i who was seeking to watch that since years.. finally some negative points for bleach
It's an ok-type anime. Nothing awesome, nothing really bad. Give it a try if you want. I'm sure you'll see the truth in my points afterwards! :D
Animes, even though they are far-fetched at times, they are real entertaining. I back up inf's points. If you want to have a good laugh, you are welcomed to take a peep. Well there are lots of fillers. Enjoy :D
i love bleach ...sure its messed up at times but cumon! most anime is! there is always something someone finds that is rong with it! who cares, if you want it to be perfect then DO IT YOURSELF if you cant be bothered then just shut up and watch it i think its rrrrrrrreeeeeaaaaaaaaalllllyyyyyyy GOOD, NO W8 ITS NOT GOOD ITS AWWWWSSSOOOMMMEEE!:)
Jackass.Really,keep your fucking rants to yourself.No one cares,we watch it because we like it.You dont fucking like it dint fucking watch it.Its that fucking simple dumbfuck